Let me rephrase this. Ultimatums don't usually work with addicts. I know they didn't work with my son, when he was given one. So let's take the word ultimatum out. What I was trying to say is, let the addict know that your very serious, and you don't want to live this way, with all of the mood swings and problems that come with addiction. Explain in a simple way, that your unhappy with the situation, and you want to come home to a happy environment. Explain that if he is willing to get help, and stay clean the relationship is worth a shot. If not, it would be best to go our own ways. Love doesn't cure addiction. Nothing can cure addiction. Even when we love our addicts, it doesn't get them clean. Eventually the relationship becomes so strained that it ends. It's usually the sober partner that has alot of resentment. There's only so much we can take when it comes to living with an addict. Again, my heart goes out to you. I have been there, and it's not fun.