i do have more peace now. believe me, it was hard to find it and it was fleeting at best. it felt worse than going through that first terrible break up. the ONLY ONLY way i got any peace was when we started to have distance between us. i was lucky in that she just left- i did not have to do the hard work of telling her to lkeave, although i did do that once before and it was vey hard.
after like a week i started to fel a slight change. i would have a day with some good moments, but go back to the despair and helplessness. its all a process. it takes time. we cannot just turn off our feelings. it was after going thru stuff over and over with her that i was able to take a small step back. than another, then she would step back and there would be distance for me to heal some. then she'd step forward to me and i would sink again, then step back and so on until i am where i am now. still not fully there but i have had enough distance from the ride to not want to get back on. it takes time and experience to see how things are with an addict, i have a lot to learn still, but the only way i found some peace was to finally step back. it sure didnt happen overnight, but it will come to you.
its so hard to want to care for someone but not be appreciated or even be able to do what you want to help.