MMkM

text sent out of the blue sent me into a tizzy of physical stress symptoms.

My family situation is a very dysfunctional family unit (our Mom died
from alcoholic complications) and the new wife was helpless and got
all sorts of co dependent help - of which she really came to expect
from us and hated us when we stopped.

Last straw was finding a street man answering the door to father's house
and he was left alone with him. Call to APS, etc...

Then went total No Contact with them and it was wonderful. Even spent Thanksgiving with friends. This stuff is really working.

But, a message from a relative (who I had warned no talk about them - or a boundary set) relayed info about the dismal no meal Thanksgiving (they are that helpless). Then this person relayed info about us that sparked a
text message - just one line - to our phone from them.

This sent me into such a reaction, physically ill symptoms, letting the toxicity seep into my life by arguing with my husband we need a new phone.

Also got into it with the person who ignored a boundary on the topic of them.

Coming here and remembering the advice, you may go NC but how detached are you when a simple little one line message can ruin your day?

Do some of you prepare for boundaries broken (and are willing to go NC with those who break those).

Do you do daily mediations and studies and practice about detachment so that a simple one sentence cannot control your whole day and body with stress.

I really thought the NC was working and the detachment was there but was not because I feel it might always be a problem with a phone number being available to them to text.

We at one point were getting 16 texts at a time this past year so this is something I need to be on top of.

Any feedback appreciated.

And am reading more about the detachment topics here in forum.