How to have a peaceful home with an addict
It is so hard. I just want to come home to a happy home. We all know the only time home is really happy is when our addict is past the major sickness/withdrawls and is one again the person we love.
But that's so rare. How do you deal with the mood swings, the lashing out, the psychological and emotional abuse? It's so hard. I've become mean myself in defense and because I feel so taken for granted, anger comes up because I just want a happy home. A stable home. I never know what I'm walking into. I find myself yelling and saying mean things, because I wanted to walk into a happy home not feel unwelcomed the moment I walk in the door. Its the worst when he is sick.
Example yesterday; I left him a sweet note efore work knowing he was going to be going through w/d, at lunch I came home and was frustrated that there were still no clean dishes but just went out to lunch, I told him I'd take him to a movie later to get his mind off things. I come home later after work, he's watching tv.He stomped to the bedroom before I said a word. I aske him what was wrong and asked if he would help clean tomorrow or when he felt better (I work he doesn't) he said no and other mean stuff. I cleaned and made dinner-some for him too. and cookies! before all of the cooking i yelled and cried a bunch and was really upset, i was just trying to have a happy day with him!
eventually he calmed down and was nice but every five minutes i got the lashing out for no reason. i'm pretty thin skinned and it is hard!
So how do I keep myself calm, try not to take duh offense, etc? I'm finding it so hard. It's hard not to get angry when taken for granted. i find myself saying meaner things in defense and i hate it. i just want peace!
how do you deal with w/d?