Thread: I might lose my oldest brother. :(
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Old 12-02-2010, 06:38 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
sofacat
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: the sunshine state
Posts: 623
Hi Contemplative.

It is tough. I was in a relationship with an addict for 11 years. I usually am over in the F&F of Substance Abusers forums... but sadly find myself posting here as well.

I can say that being in a relationship with an addict/alcoholic is very tough. It really tests your limits and having the strength and courage to enforce your boundaries with them can be emotionally challenging.

For them, it's a life long battle, challenge and commitment to stay sober.

After 11 years I had to finally stand by my commitment to myself to no longer have drugs in my home and my life. He had a choice to get clean, get back in the program and work hard day by day to stay clean. He chose the pills.

It broke my heart to let him go. He is such a likable person, and was always very kind to me...unless I was standing in the way of his using...then the mind games came to play, and I found myself starting to question myself. Maybe it was me who had the problem.

We call it the old "twistaroo" game. It was emotionally draining. Not to mention the financial burdens, the legal issues, the lying, the not coming home at night stuff... you get the idea. But I know now..."let go or be dragged."

Getting involved with an active "a" is something that I will NEVER do again...even a recovering "A" is questionable to me at this point. I have the tools now, but I am not sure I would want to test myself that way...as I am a recovering Codependent, and people in need are "my drug".

Good to know my post "sobered" you up. This place is a life saver.

about my brother:

He is able to walk now, and is recovering quickly. Now I am trying to find someone from AA to visit him in his room. That is all I can do, that and pray.

Anyone know how I may go about finding this for Him? He lives in another state, and I'm not sure who I can contact.

Have a great day all.
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