I am so very grateful for all of your responses and words of wisdom. To NoDayBut2Day good question and that is something I have to figure out. I have 2 great kids, a career I love, a supportive family but this year my Mom died, My Dad is dying of Cancer - I got really sick in June and almost died from Overheating - my youngest just left for college so I have 2 in college and oh yea MENOPAUSE. Nice huh? I am a happy person - am blessed in so many ways but have convinced myself I can't have it all - somehow this is my lot for whatever reason. I know that makes me not well and I own that. I have recently gone on Zoloft and am also take something for Menopause for my nerves. He is so pissed that I am taking care of myself and makes fun of me for it. Empathy is not something he has at all. Actually last night compared me being on anti depressants to having a drug problem. I need to get well and get past this and find the light again. I wish he would just go away and never come back- I feel bad for saying that but it is true. He has sucked the life out of me and I have let him - I need to make the changes for myself and I am taking steps to get there. He told me he was gonna leave me on the streets - which is funny as he is unemployed and I pay the freaking bills. Life is to short - I live that everyday with my Mom passing too young and my Dad heading that way. Thanks again - I am blessed to have this site and you.