Welcome!!!
Hey, I know that story.
Someone pointed out to me quite some time ago that the 'relationship' bore the hallmarks of an addiction more than anything else.
And on some level I knew this for an extended period of time, like her, I couldn't give up my particular doc, had to hit a bottom first.
And there were times when I thought I had hit a bottom, but there are bottoms, and there are even lower bottoms. Mine was pretty low.
Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.