Booze in the cup is WAY too close, brother. Better to deal with the mental obsession before it gets that close to relapsing.
I know exactly what you are going through. I'm so close to 90 days and so scared about throwing it all away by drinking again. Part of it is that I'm facing stresses that I've always dealt with by getting drunk. Need different solutions. Read another post that struck a nerve. It was talking about Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). Look it up. Once I read up on it, I felt better just understanding what I was going through and it wasn't that my resolve to stay sober was weakening. It is just what the brain is going through after years and years of alcohol abuse.