Welcome Pink!
Ive been using substances for about 20 years. Didnt realize that until detox. Im 34 so.........Been using for more than half my life. That is F***ed up!!!
I know that losing my job saved my life. I was out of control. I know that if I wasnt still out there I would be dead. I got to the point that I just didnt care anymore. Dying seemed like a easy way out.
But my 2 daughters needed their mother. Thenight before I left they were no more than 50 feet away from me sleeping and I was pumping so much s**t into my body to get some kind of effect-what--I dont know. I thank God for that one moment of clarity to call a detox and BEG for help!!!
If you havent considered a detox please do--and go on to rehab if possible.
I learned so much and realized some crazy stuff about myself that I had no idea was even there. I am working a program now! Through Narcotics Anonymous I am getting my life back and for once in my life seeing that Im not a bad person. Im a sick person. Working the steps have made me realize that my drug use is just a symptom. Im working hard on ME! Trying my very best to be a better person and get a better perspective on my life.
Keep going to those meetings! And keep posting here. Very good people hear that do not judge. They have been through it all and have some great advice that just might save your life.
God Bless You!!!!!!
Ann