It it walks like a duck.........
It's not the quantity (although alcoholics typically lie) it's what happens after the alcohol is in one's system. I'm a recovering alcoholic and that sounds like me before I got sober -- absolutely had to have my drinks, lots of long distance affairs, self-centered, self-willed in the extreme.
But what's most important is that it doesn't sound like this is the right woman for you. That you see that and make your decisions on that fact alone.