It is so tempting to try and look into the future at who and what a person could be. It is a trick of the mind to try and deny the parts of a person we don't like and only focus on the parts we do like. I did it for a long time.
I was always focusing on what my husband 'could be'. We don't have crystal balls. We have the person we know in front of us, just as they are. This is the truth of them and of our relationship.
I wish your bf the best in his recovery and I wish you the best in your recovery too. Alanon has already been mentioned. The book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie was really helpful to me. There are also a lot of really good stickies at the top of this forum. I read them a lot as well.