It's never simple is it. For any of us.
I hope you'll check into an alanon meeting! I think that is a great way to support him in his recovery - and a great way for you to learn what the healthy choices are for you when it comes to having a relationship with him.
PS. Relapse is part of the disease of alcoholism. It's not part of recovery. You may want to clarify that to him the next time.