Mine did need to drink, or else he would begin going through severe and possibly life threatening DTs.
He would guilt trip me for not buying, picking up, keeping alcohol, but I would not accept that.
He needed to get help, so I refused to feed his demon. He did what he had to do to get it.
He used to go to other women, stay in scary, weird or otherwise dangerous places so he could drink. He could not work, because he did not have his medicine.
When I would bring up the infidelities, or how his life had become dark and that he was spending his days and nights on the street, staying wherever, he would say it was because I would not allow him to drink at home, where our son lives.
At some point self preservation comes in. When I stopped taking part in that blame game, and absorbing the guilt over his disease, that is when he had his first few touches on bottom. When he hit bottom, it was my fault, also. ..
Now, in recovery, he can accept the responsibility. Now, he is more present and realistic.
i can honestly say that my beginning to even feebly deflect his projections of guilt, spoken or implied, was the start of an opening for my healing, and ultimately him hitting his bottom, and starting to make his way toward recovery.