anoninarkansas

My family and I are currently in a predicament on how exactly to proceed with our addict. The person in question was a very dear high school friend for both my wife and myself. Since high school, she has been in and out of jail, been to prison once, and has a new address every few months. She has been on and off the wagon more times that we can count and has been kicked out of rehab several times as well. Apparently last week she also tried and failed to commit suicide. She is at the edge right now.

Last night, my wife got a call from her. She was noticeably upset and crying, stating repeatedly that she wants to change and just doesn't know how. She sees us and our happy lives and thinks that she'll never get it and it's killing her. My wife and I know this, and so offered to get her out of her current situation. We don't want her to die because of stupid drugs!

We have offered her a room to sleep in and a bed and a to help her get a job and a ride to work every day with the understanding that if she screws up, she WILL NOT get a second chance from us. We have children in the house and they are the priority. In our heads, she would be under constant surveillance and would have little in the way of freedom. She would only go out with one of us and would not have money unless we gave it to her. She WOULD get a job and she WOULD help pay the bills around the house while saving up to get her own place.

This all seems good in our heads (She has yet to agree to this and still has to talk to her parole officer) but we've never been through this before. Are we doing the right thing here? Any advice to offer us? We understand that she will try to lie cheat and steal to get a fix and we're prepared to deal with that. We just want to make sure we're not making a mistake or enabling her in any way. Our biggest priority is to get her out of her current living situation.

Any advice is very much appreciated!

Thank you

Anon in AR