Originally Posted by
SarahG 
He has said many times in the past that he felt he could not come to me with his problems. That his spending, and the secrecy about that spending, was because he felt he could not ask for help, could not depend on others.
Did any of that make sense?
Yes, it made perfect sense! It is just like living with active alcoholism.
He said: blame shift, blame shift, denial, denial.
His spending addiction was his responsibility. He made these choices as an adult.