theuncertainty

God, what a sh-thead.

My very first post here about 7 months ago was asking if the lying ever stops. I know it's not even been a year. I do not know if he's drinking again, sometimes I think he is, and at other times I don't know - just simply (happily) not enough contact to determine. I do know from his other behavior that he's not following any program.

The lying hasn't stopped. Has indeed progressed to where he lied to his attorney (who dropped him for a number of reasons) and then to the judge in our divorce case and about something that is very easily verifiable.

The worst though is that he keeps jerking our DS around. Just did it again. This is supposed to be his weekend with DS. He's not here and DS is devastated because his father called to change it from a weekend to dinner. DS was out in his room under the bed again.

I don't understand. Does STBXAH believe his own lies? Does he think the entire world is stupid? Why am I surprised?

I guess that last one is the main one. Why am I surprised? I am so tired of finding myself thinking that some one can make him change.

I thought my leaving with DS would make him change; I thought him walking off from and nearly losing the best job he's ever had because he was drunk would get him to change; I thought his sister getting him into an in-patient program would change him. Slowly, painfully I've let all of those day dreams go and I thought I was resigned to the thought of him continuing to the same abusive alcoholic that he is. However, I find I was apparently hoping the court could get him to at least change his behavior. Because I thought that he would follow a court-ordered visitation schedule. Because I thought he couldn't find a way to be controlling and a-holey through a court ordered visitation schedule with a no contact order in place.

I'm tired. And I am really trying to turn this all over to my HP, because I cannot deal with him even indirectly any more. I can't do this. I sure as hell can't do this for the years it will take DS to reach 18....

I'm going to lock myself in the bathroom for an uninterrupted bath and let myself cry until the tears stop. Then I'm going to check my budget to see if I can afford to go out shopping - as much as the idea of going shopping the weekend of 'black' Friday makes me shudder. Or maybe meet a friend for coffee... IDK.