Hey Pigeon,
I'm sorry to hear about all this. I know how drinking can take us out of control and cause an avalanche of problems as though beyond our control.
But right now I would not be focused on this relationship. If she did take you back, then what? If you haven't stabilized yourself in sobriety to where you can stay sober you'll likely end up making mistakes again and further hurting her and yourself.
My advice would be to focus on stopping the thing that is causing all these things from your life to slip, which sounds like alcohol and drugs. Because those of us with drug problems cannot make positive changes in our life while we continue to use the substances that made the problems to begin with. It's trying to douse a housefire with gasoline.
I hope we can help you get a start on building sobriety. Sobriety is not always enough to fix relationships, but it's the best chance that you have (not to mention the best thing for you, yourself.)
Hang in there. Just take it slow and focus on you for now.