New here and suffering
Hello,
Been a long time lurker and tonight I decided to start posting... This past year has been h*ll. Two years ago I was a happily married man with a daughter, a nice home, a lovely wife and a perfect life with a professional job. I never drank and hadnt used drugs since high school. Our lives turned upside down when we lost our daughter. Since then my once near perfect marriage of 24 years has been slowly failing and I admit it was mostly due to my drinking and using pain killers and ketamine. At first she said so herself she didnt mind me using or drinking, but I guess it got out of hand. We fought more and I drank more. She left me a few times and had thrown me out a few times as well but we would always end up getting back together. I'd stop drinking for a night or two before I would start drinking again and the entire cycle would start over. I have been hospitalized a few times for alcohol poisining, drug overdose and suicidal thoughts. I've been homeless once because I had no money or anywhere to go. But she always let meback in. When I lost my job recently for drinking on the job, that was the last straw. She kicked me out like before and I crashed in with a friend. But now I'm thinking.... maybe this is finally it? She hasnt called or tried to contact me in anyway. It's been just over 2 weeks. I really want to call or text her but my guess is she's still mad...
I feel as though I lost it all