I was thinking last night, as I watched my A make an apple pie and a blueberry cheesecake(with chocolate shell), that I can get so myopic in my view of things. I can look for any crack in the veneer...I will be looking at the negatives with a magnifying glass, unable to see the more positive stuff.
He made the pies, apron and all, then he went to a meeting. When he came home, he asked me to sit down with him and help him compile a list. The list was titled, "Things I do"
His list was as follows:
Be a sober person
Be a happy sober person
Wake up at a decent hour
Spend more time with our son
Do sports stuff
Communicate clearly
We laughed, and I made a list.
It was like a dream I thought. I used to imagine us being like this, thinking it was never possible.
This morning our son woke up tooooo early, came in the room, and A just laid there, then got up and went to another room. I was so mad! How could he assume that it would just be me who wakes up, gets him breakfast, sees to him??
I laid back down and stewed. Then I went in and said, " I do not want there to be an assumption that I will just do the things that you dont want to do. I am not a nanny."
he rolled over, smiled at me, and said,
"I am getting there. I am closer than ever. I think you are focusing on the negatives..."
I could not help but smile. He was right. I conceded, but then told him, nonetheless, it is an issue. I know he is working toward things.
I want to remember to focus on those things that I want to expand. It is a good day for that.
Love to everyone.