Well it seems that your 19yo has a deep seeded resentment towards his father. I'm sure that he felt like dad abondoned him which he has every right to feel. Being without dad in his life for so long has probably taken its toll on him. Has he ever gone to counseling. Usually talking to professional can bring some of the deeper issues to light so that he can learn how to handle them. I feel bad for him. Even though I had my dad in my life physically, he wasn't there emotionally. You know, he was there but be wasn't. He and I never had a good relationship. When I got older (legal to drink) I thought that being drinking buds would be a good way to bond. I was wrong on that one. I'm an alcoholic so is he, but I'm the irresponsible type. I wish I could have a way to bond with him now, but he's off in Mexico roofing off and has been there since April. So in a sense I can relate to your son. If your son hasn't seen a therapist I would recommend it, its best for those suppressed feelings to be brought to light.