I meant that he had left my life for other reasons not having to do with relapse or problems when we were in our 20s. We were not serious at all but I still missed him terribly when he had to move away. He did not have a drinking problem then and was sober when we reconnected later on.
The relapse was a huge eye opener and in a way brought us closer. But to his credit he realized that he had to really commit to recovery in a big way. Sadly that meant being focused on that, tucked away some place for a lonnng time.
I know it is going to have to be about ME more. It is that realization that I am sitting with right now. I get NOTHING out of this at this point. Just some memories and if I'm lucky, maybe a phone call? I do want to stay supportive but I'm finding it difficult right now because it has finally 'sunk' in about the seriousness of his illness and that he will be away.
And yes if I meet someone else, I probably won't get into anything deep but having someone to be attentive would sure be nice for a change!