My Sons
Hi Everyone,
Some here my know better of what I am talking about, more so I guess our longer members. Just briefly, I was married to an addict, became so 7 years ago after we had been married for 17 years had two sons ages 12 and 14 then, they are now 19 and 21 and I have had a some very hard times with the boys since their dad left.
About 6 months ago my 19yr son and I had quit a battle, for some reason or another our garage became his possesion, as he did the same when his dad left to the home we use to live in. Should I put anything in the garage the next day he had it out. He just kept it up here. I do have a knew companion (it has been 7 almost 8 years ago since their dad left the family) he put some of his work material in the garage, neatly in a corner. He ask if it would be ok and I said yes, but inside I was worried sick about how the son was going to react. He left the things alone, but would make smart arse remarks to me when we were by ourselves. I got a knew washer and had to put the old one in the garage until I could get rid of it. My son went into the garage and a blew a fit, picked up the washer and threw it on the lawn plus what ever else was in his sight. Screaming and haulering at me swearing, my friend came out and told him to put a lid on his mouth and he just blew even more. I had to call the rcmp, they did really nothing just got things calmed down a bit and waited until my son left again. I am not going to go into every detail but it was a very upsetting day. He came by a few times after that and would just go into the garage I would stay inside, but if we came face to face he would call me f'n B + ect. He stayed away for sometime and has come by the odd time, not much. There would be no conversation he would just go into the garage. Then he was outside and I went out and said it was nice to see him, he no comment. He has a knew truck and asked him if he minded if I went and took a look at it, he said go ahead. I thought that was a bit of a step for the better. Our Thanksgiving was in Sept, I tried for a week to call him, let him know I was cooking a turkey, even just to stop by and take some to his place. He refuses to answer my calls, has no voice mail on his cell, but he can see my number coming up. I try at least once a week to call him, but he refuses to answer. On his 19th birthday I asked his brother to ask him if it would be ok if (I) came and met up with them for a 1/2 hour, he texted back and said no I could not come. With all the cold snaps, I have made up Chili, sheps pie ect and frozen packages up for both the boys. My oldest took his tonight and I said I have some for your brother to, he said " don't bother, he will not take it from you".
This is really starting to take its tole on me. Some say wait until he has been out on his own for a bit and then he will start to realize...but he is not budging. I know he wants my friend gone, but this kind of stuff and more was going on long before. I have seen families that have had their children taken away in some real bad situations, then the children get to go back again and they love their parents to death. I know they went through a terrible time with all that went on with their dad, it hurt them so deeply, plus know there were times when I was an emotional mess and probably not to stable to them.
Why today was more bothersome at work for me I don't know, as I see them everyday, just all the young men his age, just really kept tearing me up. I work in the cafeteria in a University.
Sorry for lingering on and on!
Rose