Quote (( I do need to detach because I am suddenly feeling very unimportant in his life and now the tears start. )))
If he has an alcohol problem and in rehab, you are NOT the most important part of his life right now. His brain and body are in a state of flux and he probably is clinging to what is immediately in front of him, like a life raft in a stormy sea.
Then look at your past together, when you certainly came down the importance scale for him, and booze came in first, second and third place.
If you can't detach with love, and God knows I have tried and failed, then try detaching with patience, forgiveness or out of desperation, anything that helps.
I finally decided I didn't want to be important to my A, and share that spot with a bottle of beer. I am a darn sight better than a bottle of beer.