You have to just consider this a step that you have to take and try to compartmentalize it as such. Continue taking one step forward for yourself and focus on you and work on drawing on the positive energy that comes from not living with him anymore. It is a technicality you have to go through, but it doesn't have to consume your life. You can do this Tam, you will get through this. And we are all here for you at anytime. You are a good person stuck in a bad situation and by all means not a loser at all, but rather a surviver. And in good time everyone will see that. Keep your head up high and know you did everything you could, and now you have to do everything you can to get your life back fully and start enjoying it again. Hang in there and take care.