I have a minute free to expound.
I lived through years of cheating, lying and infidelity.
I share a child with my A, and there were many periods of time that I deemed him inappropriate to be around the child. It was during these times that he started up with other girls, he says it was out of need for a place to stay, for booze, or for an accepting drinking partner, but...over time, when I would allow him back, it was almost as if the infidelity had taken on a life of its own. There were times when things were going well between us, he would be working, or being decent, and sometimes these women just would not cease no matter what he told them...I later found out that he was telling them more than just "leave me alone"...He would later see them when he was drunk, and he would tell them his hand was forced in ending it, that he was victimized by me....
Its all pretty hard to blame on just alcohol, after all, I drank a lot, lived on the road in a high profile entertainment world, and I never did any of that. I am not a man, but...There are men I worked with who never did it either, and many of them had bad alcohol issues.
It just does not make sense to blame it all on the booze. He planned this stuff, and he followed through..He was definitely not drunk all the while. There is a compulsion and a pathology to it, and it may have caused him to start doing it, but he continued. And continued, and paid for it, and sought it out.
All you can do is watch him with your eyes wide open, and do not be afraid to ask for proof of his honesty. I never felt bad about snooping into an email account or a phone, because I ALWAYS found something that justified my suspicions.
Things are normal now, for us in the other women department. He made clear and clean breaks with any loose end types, and he made sure to impress on them that it is his choice, that he is not in need of being rescued....
I feel safe for now, but, I cant help but wonder, what if he meets a girl at an AA meeting who is just, well...willing? That seems like all it ever took for him when he was loaded, a willing person.