Originally Posted by Cyranoak

...because I have been exactly where you are now and what I want to say probably isn't gentle enough, so in the spirit of watered-down tough love I'll just say this:

Go to an Al-Anon meeting in person. Try at least six meetings to find out if it is right for you. If you do your life will change for the better. If you don't your life will stay the same or get worse. I guarantee it.

How to find a meeting in the US/Canada/Puerto Rico

Go to Al-Anon enough and I believe you will be able to answer your own questions about what to do in this, and almost any other situation as well.

To this Thanksgiving I'll ask only this-- what on God's green earth has you even considering immersing yourself in Thanksgiving with alcoholics? You're already preparing to fight, you already know what is going to happen. What would happen if you stay home? What would happen if you choose not to fight? What would happen if you don't help alcoholics get the freedom and convenience they need to drink? What if you stop cleaning up after them?

Consider stepping back, read your own post as if somebody else had written it, then see what you think about how that person is thinking, and what that person is subjecting their "self" to in the guise of helping or being a "good" family member.

Take what you want and leave the rest.

Cyranoak