Hi Daughter, and welcome to SR.
It sounds like maybe you have had some exposure to Alanon, perhaps?
Good for you on starting to set some boundaries. I have had to do that too with family members. I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict/codependent, and they have all chosen not to have any program of recovery for themselves.
As for the drinking in your home, I can only tell you that my home is alcohol/drug-free, no ifs, ands, or buts!
I made the mistake of letting my 32-year-old addict/alcoholic daughter stay with me for a month, and she crossed every boundary, including bringing drugs/alcohol into the home.
She is no longer welcome in my home. She's got to have a minimum of 2 years continuous recovery before I would even consider it.
She's not interested in making changes in her life, so that's just where we stand right now.
Only you can decide what is best for you as far as your father's visit.
Active alcoholism does not enter my home, and it's not a rule that can be bent or modified.
I hope you continue to post, and know that you are among friends.
