hi outside, I also moved to another city away from people I loved and the boyfriend I had, someone I never thought could hurt me turned out to be an alcoholic and he also said horrible stuff while drunk just to act normal the next day.
That was 2 years ago and we still work together but I try to stay as away as possible from him and his "friends" . And he is still drinking like hell.
It gets much better. I do not believe in "not giving up on him". He gives up on you and himself everytime he gets drunk and abusive. You say he gets mean and scary. I hope you take care of yourself. My ex was mean and scary and always drove and sped regardless of whoever was in the car and which state he was in. He keeps doing it. I do not believe we need to sacrifice ourselves for these kind of people.
The only person you can change is you.
I hope he will someday be able to lead a balanced life and be able to be happy with or without alcohol.
If he is an addict he will never be able to lead a balanced life with alcohol.... a life of happiness would mean being sober for a long time and also inner work using therapy/12 steps for years and years....... and still many relapse and many die as a result of their addiction... it is heartbreaking, but it is also exhausting for the people around that have every right to live a normal life without constant hurting, scares & stress.
Take care and please check out the Sticky material on top of the page .