Hi Everyone,
I wanted to just say how thankful I am to be able to come here, read, post, & press the "thank you" button.
I am not a complete newbie to codie recovery, but I realize just how much work I have to do! I wanted to say that I actually "appreciate" some of the tough (or "tough love") postings. I am not sure 15 or 20 years ago I could've understood or appreciated it though. We are all in different places in our journey. I have always felt like I was "too sensitive," absorbing other people's pain & yes trying to help & fix!
When I get "tough," & even express how I am really feeling (direct, tough, & even mean) then I have felt that I get all this push back & criticism (again, shows how "too sensitive" I am!)
Deep down inside I just want to be acknowledged & validated, I think. In a not-so odd way, I realize how I am very much like the alcoholic/addict in so many ways. I just play out my inner struggles differently.
I am so glad I have SRF to come to. This place is a gift. I came here after my RAH went into recovery & I had long thought about & tinkered with my own co-dependency recovery. I read the posts from those who are in so much pain, lost in darkness, not knowing where to begin & feel the connection. It's nice to finally realize that I was not crazy. All the angst, tension, anger, sadness, hopelessness were real (& part of the insane situation I was in). I also read the posts from those who are well into their recovery,(many who have left their ex-addicts/alcoholics & started new lives) & I hope I can one day get to that kind of calm, content & serenity one day. I feel a lot of hope & gratitude, even as I deal with, cope with, struggle with life in general.
I am learning to listen to my intuition a bit more in a more honest way, thanks to all of you.
tyou