welcome and venting is just fine.
I love my AH and watched something similiar - not the getting sick part but physical injuries from falls and walks to/from the bar since I took away the keys. I would call to pick him up but he just cursed me out or hung up so be it. He tried to stop many times, succeeded some but never could maintain it. He would tell me how hard it was. He did well when in AA but would relapse when he stopped.
I started out giving him the option to stop or leave so he could drink in peace. He would stop and come back and eventually start all over again. So, I then I set firm limits on what I would or would not do and eventually detached fairly well. The more I pulled away emotionally, the worse he got with the drinking.
We are separated and have been for awhile... he got sober and relapsed over and again. I look at the behavior and try not to assume what he thinks or feels. I can only decide how I want to live my life and how I want to be treated.
When we first met, everything was great! He has a lot of positive attributes and seemed to really get me. I saw our relationship as a surprise and gift until things took a turn.
The hardest part of this illness is the loss of our wishes, hopes and dreams. But as my step-son (who is in recovery) put it so simply... if he wants to drink we can't stop him and will hurt ourselves trying to fight it. It hurt to lose the dreams, I don't want to hurt anymore so I let go of the fight. It hurts for awhile but we all have to go on living.
Keep posting and reading. You may not agree with everything but it is useful. It got me to the place I am at and I never imagined it possible when I first came. This is a complete reversal for me.