Hi outsidethecage
Sorry we didn't get back to you sooner. I hope you check in again soon.
I am an alcoholic
I am thousands of miles from home where they dont even speak english
I am not too keen on the AA thing either
I am seriously worried that I am going to lose the person I love (and we have been together for 33 years!)
but
today will be my day 13 of sobriety and I am feeling very positive about the future (not just for myself but also for a lot of other alcoholics who are doing their damndest to quit this mess)
I gotta say that being a barman would be virtually impossible for me - I have cleared the house of even any fumes of alcohol to make it easier.
There are 2 main differences for me this time
1) I am getting soooo much support from other alcoholics in the early stages of recovery on this forum (they speak the same language that I can properly understand)
2) I concluded that "never" drinking again was "never" going to work for me. It was way too big a task. So each day, I am doing my level best to not drink "today"
and it seems to be working!!
I have done quite a bit of research on the options available to people who are sceptical about AA and the primary thing I came up with is that you do not need to hit rock bottom before you get help - on the contrary, if people can get help BEFORE they lose their wife and job, then their prospects are remarkably good. Also, if spouses can seek treatment TOGETHER there is a much better chance of success. It is very true that your BF needs to be the one who wants to quit, and no amount of badgering from you is going to make any difference. I frequently used alcohol as a mute button to turn off the noise!
Have a look at
this site where they talk about the physical effects on the brain and WHY alcoholics just keep on going back to alcohol even though they may want to quit.
Feel free to PM me if you want some other links
This is a fantastic forum and there are loads of people with loads of experience here, all wanting to help.
Dont give up on him. All the very best of luck to you both