Golden Girl...don't listen to anything he says. Stay strong. Sometimes, when things like this happen to me, I tell myself it is a test from my Higher Power, and being the goody two-shoes, high achieving girl I have always been...sets me straight every time. Well, almost every time
And John, you are so right, the very best gift you can give your wife, your children and yourself is complete committment to recovery and long term sobriety. My ex abf was sending me flowers, and presents, and books, you name it, it all felt manipulative to me because he was doing it just to get me back. I felt that his focus should be on himself at this time, and not on our relationship. I am also recovering, and need no distractions from it at the moment. Good for you for getting healthy.