Thank you for the responses. I am just getting the courage to confront the financial damage and it is staggering. I can't believe that I was so naive and stupid to think that he wouldn't touch our life savings - and now realize that anything held jointly is not protected. I feel so much stress to take on more at work because I will NEED my job, the primary caregiver for the kids, the financial guardian, the social planner (trying to keep things "normal?" for the kids' sake, etc. I snapped/yelled at my daughter for leaving things laying around the house after I just cleaned up and she snapped back that I'm so mean, like I'm the bad parent. I can't tell them what's really going on, though I'm sure they know it's not normal...I want to get to a meeting but feel like I can't spare the time - but I know I need to, for my sanity...