Originally Posted by
brokenheartfool 
Alright, for this thread's purposes, let's say that what you said above is a given. You find your own happiness wherever.
Even if the spouse is an ex, I'd still like to hear stories of the emotional connection and how much its success/failure is attributed to the alcohol, or perhaps isn't tied to the alcohol!
Just trying to sort out in my own head that I blamed the emotional disconnect on the alcohol, but perhaps it is far more complicated than that. I don't know if he became sober whether I would be dealing with a different person or not. If he continued to drink forever, how much would be lost in translation?
The alcoholic brain. How much of their thinking is a result of the alcohol, how much is other things.
And for those whose spouses did get sober--how about the emotional connection then?
This is what I call "spinning." Trying to figure out all the what if's and what might be's. It's a tactic my mind uses on me to avoid dealing with
what is.
So, for purposes of this thread, let's say a bunch of us tell you "yes, it's all just the alcohol, and when he gets sober you will have an emotional connection again." Or, suppose a bunch of us say, "no, you can never have that kind of connection with an alcoholic, they are incapable of it."
Do either of those answers change your circumstances?
You're still left with what you have
now. Is it what you want?
L