brokenheartfool

Alanon tells me in their reading for the beginning of meetings that we can find our own happiness whether the alcoholic is sober OR NOT.

It's the OR NOT part I have trouble with.

My exah was responsible, worked hard, paid his bills. Granted, there's probably as many scenarios and personality types in alcoholic marriages as there are brands of liquor.

My problem was an emotional disconnect--or lack of connection. I attributed this to his large ego (successful man) and communication breakdown, and communication styles. I just don't get you was a regular thought of mine, pretty much daily.
I'd like to hear others tell me (whether their alcoholic spouse is drinking or not) about your emotional connection, and how successful it is/was.

It seems to me the crucial element of a marriage is an emotional connection that is strong and healthy. That two people relate and can see eye to eye, and when speaking the same language, can actually make sense to each other.
I am wondering if our emotional connection problem was really about the alcohol, or how much because of the alcohol, or is it something that would have been the same outcome even if he hadn't have been a drinker.

This confuses me. And how to live with an active drinker and be happy confuses me in a marriage, because alcohol seems like an emotional barrier of its own, regardless of other emotional barriers that may exist.
Has anybody had a terrific emotional connection with a drinker?

Thanks!