Instead of having the talk with her, maybe you could have it with a competent family law attorney, so you have an idea of where you stand legally with regard to the home, finances, assets, and most importantly, custody of the boys? Just a fact finding meeting.
Then you kind of know what you are working with and what kind of boundaries you can realistically set.
Do you have the means to move you and the boys some where else, where their school routine wouldn't be up set? Or better yet, is there some where SHE could go to continue her drinking career without all the drama and chaos?
Even if you decide to separate, that doesn't mean you have to divorce right away, or ever for that matter.
You're doing great, one baby step at a time. Nothing has to be decided or figured out tonight.
See, your toes are hanging over the edge. I know it's hard, but you're doing good.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote