Before you left were you alone? Afraid? Broke? How old were your kids? What did you do? What was your breaking point?
Alone before divorce -- check.
Afraid -- check.
Broke -- check.
Three daughters -- 3 months, 3 years, and 6 years old
Breaking point -- infidelity by AH.
What did I do? -- I took unpaid leave, went home to my family and let them take care of my girls while I took care of me. I let myself grieve, and I let others love me. I went to individual and group therapy. Read Codependent No More and other books. I prayed, A LOT. I took note of the good things in my life. I lost a LOT of weight without trying (even though I was eating well because I was nursing my daughter.) I journaled a lot. And I gave it all up -- turned it all over to God. He took amazing care of us. He provided meals, clothing, a home, a perfect neighborhood, more than I could have imagined.
There were times in my grief that I wouldn't have cared if the roof came crashing down on me because then the pain would have stopped, but God had a better plan for me and for my daughters. He saw us through it.
Slowly and painfully...but finally...we came through it. Life is good again.
It's good that you're forming your plan. Now is your time to really put your focus and energy into
you and your precious babies. Al-Anon will help you focus and calm you, give you strength and courage, teach you what you need to know. Go to therapy if you can. And keep praying. God will answer your prayers in ways that you don't expect. Watch for that love from him and let him help without getting in his way.
You're in my prayers!