all my life my validation has been external. It is a crazy-making way to live. There will always be someone who does not agree with what I do, and I can't ask everyone whether what I am doing or thinking or feeling is right/wrong/ok/whatever and work out what the majority decision is, wich is basically how I was trying to go about it.
So trying very hard to foster self-validation, I wish it were automatic as I find this a painful process.
I find it extra hard to self-validate in the presence of someone who has strong opposite views about me/my feelings/my thoughts, I don't think that is necessarily an attack, but I do wonder though why I would want to be with someone who consistently didn't like or trust what I said/thought/felt/did, and vice versa.