Hello to all my SR friends. I was amazed to come home and find hmbld's thread on relationships after the aftermath because I was going to ask a similar type of question. I've always been attracted to the 'bad boys'. I'm sure you know the type I mean. Anyway, I met a 'nice' man about 6 months after the break-up from my exADFH (we've been separated 15 months now). I told him I wasn't ready for any type of serious relationship but I tried to give it a go and I ended things completely a few months later after looking and finding some red flags. He had lied and I caught him out a few times. After that he seemed super honest trying to make up for it I think. He is also a full-blown codie (even more than me! Funny seeing a reflection of yourself in someone else). He has kept some contact with me, texting sometimes and rare phone calls. He lives a fair way away from me and the distance is good. Today, I met him for coffee. I was so reluctant to meet him. In fact I felt sick in my guts (a sign perhaps?). I was, however, comfortable around him and he gave me a bunch of flowers, paid for coffees and lunch and gave me a hug saying he'd like to see me again. The problem is I don't feel a physical connection to him, if you know what I mean? He's pleasant looking, but totally not the wildly, rugged type of man I'm attracted to. When I'm around him, it feels like a comfy old slipper type of feeling. I also know I'm soooo not ready for any type of relationship but, on the way home, some questions formed in my mind, like....has anyone here EVER felt a 'spark' with a 'nice' man? Is it possible to have a 'spark' with a nice man, or will it always feel like a nice, comfy, somewhat boring type of feeling? Lol....I honestly feel if I got involved with this man that I'd be looking around for someone else I'd feel more attraction towards. Do I not feel attraction for him because I'm sensing neediness in him? Or do I just have so much more work to do on myself because I'm seriously not right in the head? One on my friends said she gets the feeling he's 'grooming' me. Being Mr Niceguy, Mr Patient, Mr Smooth, Mr Say all the right things. Other friends say "He's so nice, but maybe not your type"... Anyway, your perspective on this would be much appreciated! Thanks.
