Thread: Frustrated
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Old 11-15-2010, 02:45 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Kindeyes
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Welcome to SR........this is a safe place to gain information and insight.

At this point, your friend is not contacting you. As much as it hurts right now, it hurts far less than it will if you become even more emotionally invested in him.

Here in SR and in great groups like Naranon or Alanon, we learn about boundaries. Perhaps you could take this time to examine your own boundaries and what is or is not acceptable to you. Often it is not the fact that the addict is using but it is the behaviors that accompany the use that is unacceptable. Learning to understand and enforce your personal boundaries is a skill that you can carry throughout your life with everyone you come in contact with. Establishing healthy boundaries came a little late for me.....but better late than never.

Often there is a period of time with an addict when they are on their best behavior......it took less than three months for this man to steal from you. Addiction is a progressive disease.......it doesn't get better.......it gets worse......unless the person addicted invests a great deal of time and energy into recovery. You would be doing this man a great favor allowing him to feel the consequences of his actions......losing a terrific person (you).

Loving an addict is a very difficult path. Read. Learn. Study. And analyze yourself. If you choose to continue with this man (whether he is using or not), you'll need all of the tools and skills you can collect to deal with what lies ahead.

gentle hugs
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