Frustrated
Hi,
I'm new to this and not sure where to begin so I'll just say what I came here to say/ask. I recently called off a short term relationship with a guy who is an addict. He is addicted to pain pills and alcohol. We were together only 3 months but in that time period he stole money from me and pawned my jewelry.
After we split he spoke with me about recovery and how he was going to get help. I know that after doing a lot of research that addicts do lie. However, almost everyday for the past 3 weeks after we split he called me. He told me he was doing well and that he was taking it one day at a time. He was looking at finding AA meetings and Narcotics Anonymous meetings as well. He even went and made an appointment with and in patient/out patient rehab center. He seemed on the road to recovery and I was the friend praising him for his steps. He even suggested I buy the AA book because he was reading it and it might benefit me as well to understand what he was going through.
Then about a 1 1/2 weeks ago the phone calls started slowly getting to be less often. Then suddenly I've received nothing for a week. I have tried calling him a few times and even left him a long voice mail letting him know that I was here for him even if he was back to using again.
I have to admit, I believe I've become codependent. I have been really worked up about this and find myself wanting to go to sleep early and not really having much of an appetite. I've pretty much kept my phone glued to me. I am sure it is best that he's cut off contact with me but I can't help but be worried for him.
I guess I'm just looking to see what other's thoughts were on this situation. I feel like none of my family that knows or my friends that I've spoken to about this are of any help because they've never been involved with an addict. I've been crying a lot because I'm so worried about him but also I guess I'm sad because I miss him and our conversations. I've contemplated getting in touch with his parents (who he and his daughter currently live with) and making them aware of the situation. He has told me they are aware and he's had a long conversation with his mother but I'm starting to think it was a lie to make me happy.
I'm not sure if I'm being too vague on everything or not. This guy has been a drug addict for 15 years. He went into recovery for a year only to get into an accident break his hip and get back on pain killers. He unfortunately gets his drugs legitimately through pain management but doesn't take them as prescribed. When I first starting talking with him he told me he had been sober for a little over a year.
I guess what I'm trying to see is, should I just walk away and not get worked up or should I be the friend I promised to be and be there for him, push forward, go to his house, talk to him or his parents and let them know that now is the time to get this straight? Am I really being a friend by walking away and letting go? I just really care for this person.