I have found that inner emptiness is caused by only two things: a lack of connection with my own feelings and inner experience, and a lack of connection with a spiritual Source of love and guidance. For me both must be present for my fullness.
Some people on a spiritual path feel deeply connected with their Source, yet remain disconnected with their own feelings - their own Inner Child. Connecting with Spirit is not enough to feel a wonderful fullness of being - connection with my own feelings is vital.
I can even use my spiritual connection as a means of avoiding pain. This is called a spiritual bypass, because I am attempting to avoid my shadow side and go right to the light. This would be like going into a room and meditating while my actual child is crying in pain. There is no way that this would be a loving action.
When I am unwilling to feel the deep existential feelings of loneliness and helplessness over others, I may do many things to not feel them - stay in my head, numb out, use substance and process addictions, as well as shaming and blaming. All of these addictive behaviors are ways of abandoning my Inner Child - my feeling self. Of course I will feel empty when I refuse to feel my inner experience.
When I am willing to feel my core-self feelings - of sorrow, loneliness, grief, and helplessness over others - and learn to name them, be with them with compassion,
and finally release them to God rather than avoid them, I will then also feel the core self feelings of love, peace, joy, passion, and aliveness. It is experiencing these wonderful core feelings that gives me the feeling of fullness within, but I will not feel the wonderful feelings without also being willing to feel the painful ones.
In addition, I need to be willing to feel the wounded-self feelings of fear, anger, anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, aloneness, emptiness, jealousy, envy, etc., and open to learning about what I may be doing or telling myself that is creating them in order to discover the core feelings that I may be avoiding. The wounded feelings are always being created by the protective, controlling, addictive behaviors I do to avoid the painful core-self feelings.
INNER BONDING is a process that leads me to loving myself by taking 100% responsibility for my own feelings and needs. Self-abandonment is the core issue behind anxiety, depression, anger, addictions, relationship problems, and parenting problems. Self-abandonment leads to feeling like a victim, while Inner Bonding leads to emotional freedom and personal empowerment.
I have found INNER BONDING begins with understanding my feelings and behavior, resolving my fears and false beliefs that control my life, and gives me clear
direction toward becoming loving to myself and to others. Healing my deeper issues through INNER BONDING results in the peace, joy, fulfillment and empowerment that
I seek but find so elusive.
I have found my life has been transformed by using a powerful six-step mind/body/spirit healing process by teaching me to:
•Recognize my own true worth
•Discover my passion and purpose in life
•Take loving care of my heart, mind, body, and spirit
•Take responsibility for my own feelings of pain and joy, safety and worth
•Create deeply satisfying and enduring love relationships
There is a paradox that hindered me from complete healing: I cannot experience deep spiritual connection until I love myself, but I cannot love myself until I experience the love that comes from a deep spiritual connection. In other words, love of self -- which is what Divine love teaches me -- is a prerequisite to self-growth.
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Wrinkles are dimples with wisdom and knowing eyes learn from innocence. So it would follow when the child ceases to be, the adult fails to grow.
By Dr. Erika Chopich