I loved 'Drinking: A Love Story'. I can't express how much that book helped me to know that there was hope for me. It's one of the most painfully honest books I have ever read.
Pascal, I had been hiding from my issues and problems with drinking too. And, I didn't realize the extent of it, until I stopped drinking. My advice is to listen to your soul and follow its path. I had gotten so off-track in my life and drinking had made everything so much worse. But, with quiet listening and focusing on recovery, I was able to begin to heal. You will get through the emotions that you are feeling now.