it took me many years and tons of heartaches to finally come to grips that i was married to an addiction, not a man. and i could not help his addiction in any way. tho i tried until it nearly killed me.
my heart hurt, actually hurt, hurt, hurt with such a pain in my chest i thought i would surely just die.
i went through hell until i "got it" and moved on with my life. well, at least what i had left of my life after i let him play with it.
i'm sorry you are suffering from the effects of alcoholism and my prayers are that you may find peace, serenity, and fall in love......with yourself.
you can find my story my clicking on my icon.....you may find something useful there.
i lived through the frantics, the panics, the abuse, the confusion, the hopes, the disbeliefs, the love lost, the zero-ness of my own existance, through the pages of this forum.
this forum was a lifeline for me, and i don't know what i would have done without having 24 hour access to help on here.
jeri