Originally Posted by
TakingCharge999 
MQ this is what you wrote in March 2008
Some times we have great talks where he says how much he wants help and is excited to finally start dealing with this and that he'll do anything I need him to do to prove his commitment to sobriety and our family, and then some days are like today, where he's full of the blame game (most of this is somehow my fault, you see) and depression, where all he can focus on is how terrible life is, particulary now that his big, bad wife left him all alone. He does get to me though when he says that he really needs to know he has my support and isn't alone, because he really doesn't have anyone else in his life except for a few sisters who aren't the most supportive
My AH seems to think it's "romantic" to make me "the woman behind the man" but lately I'll have none of it. Just last week when I was talking to him about the effects of his drinking he said, "Just tell me what you think I should do and I'll do it." So I simply said. "No. I'm not doing that. I'm the LEAST qualified person to help you, so go find someone who IS qualified. You have to do this for yourself." That ended the discussion, and I'm actually pleased that I didn't go running for my self-help books to share with him like I'm prone to do.
Point being, MamboQueen, listen to the advice about detachment that you've been given here. If you're the woman behind the man, and the man is already FAR behind--where are YOU?