Your initial decision was the right decision in my opinion and your need to talk was simply a manifestation of your inability to let go, or a desire for drama, closure, or both, just made things worse. Please ask yourself what is it about you that makes you "need to talk."
Staying with this man, and I guarantee this, will be the absolute worst decison you will have made in your life. You will never top it, and you will waste years of your life miserable and dealing with it. Years you will never, ever, ever get back.
Something that frustrates me about me is that there are healthy women in this world-- I know some of them! Why am I not attracted to them!?! If you are the same as me, I'm sorry. I am well over 40 years old (closer to 50 than 40) and lost a quarter of my life to an alcoholic. IT WAS MY FAULT. I COULD HAVE ENDED IT AT ANY TIME. You are setting yourself up to do the same with your "need to talk," and everything that goes along with that need.
As to your paragraph I quoted below, it isn't about him, it's about you. Who cares what he will lose? I care what you will lose if you stay with him. The attitude reflected below says that you still want him to change so he'll be "worthy of you." Dangerous thinking. I know, because that's how I used to think. Looking back I now realize I was no more worthy of her than she of me.
As to his choosing to drink, he isn't choosing to drink, he drinks.
He's an alcoholic for God's sake! Do you think dogs choose to bark, or birds choose to fly? Dogs bark! Birds fly! It's what they do.
It's not about him, it's about you.
Be strong. You are strong. Be smart. You are smart. Learn about yourself. There is much to learn. Allow yourself to do the right thing.
I say this with care for you in my heart. Take what you want and leave the rest.
Be well,
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
jluebs 
Yeah, it didn't go great. And maybe I made things worse, I don't know. But I do feel a little bit better. I made it clear that I loved him and that I was going to support him. And now the ball is in his court. And though I still feel terrible, I feel a little better knowing the ball is in his court. And that I have made it clear my feelings. I only hope he will make the right decision, and that he will see if he chooses to keep drinking, he is the one losing out on everything, including me.
Thank you again to everyone. This has helped me a lot. I am still planning on going to an Al-Anon meeting tonight.