Roommate hunting today
Today I have time to head to the town that I'm going to move to in order to be closer to my husband and daughter. I'm feeling so many things it's terrifying. First off, I won't have her in my custody (at least not overnight) so that alone is really upsetting and I find myself trying to blame him -- even though I know he's taking measures to do the right thing for her and us. Also I'm almost 34 and have not lived in a shared housing other than with my husband and daughter for ages and I hope I can find some decent people. The place we're moving is about 100 miles from where I live now, and is drastically smaller so I hope I won't find it boring and depressing, and I hope I can find some work.
So, I'm just feeling so anxious, angry, and a host of other things. All these emotions usually conspire to move me in the direction of alcohol. I am going to resist as much as I can but I am terrified to do all this. I have so many questions and unknowns. I guess I never realized that alcohol was making me very dependent on not just it, but a lifestyle of inaction. I'm trying to see this as a positive thing, but it's just very hard.