Faith,
You say you been through many rehabs, and that you have been with your current counselor for two years. And that is not working enough for you. Is there a chance that you might be more ready to have some other support in your life on on one. I know it is tough kiddo, but are you making use of every resource possible that is available to you locally as well as online? I know you feel down, we all have been there. I hope you find the right combination and try some different tools this time around like DEE and Lilly said. I can tell you that there is only one way out, and it ain't easy for any of us. Forgive yourself but never forget yourself.