Originally Posted by
brokenheartfool 
and I haven't been a Christian since I was a kid.
So I'm having difficulty. It seems most of the people in my rural area want to talk about the 3rd step over and over again, almost every meeting.
It's not that I don't think what they are doing is good for them. It's just that I can't relate to the thinking that a higher power is going to take care of everything.
I simply don't believe that a higher power is going to take care of everything. I can't hand things over to a higher power when I don't believe that a higher power is looking over me.
It's not that I don't believe a higher power may exist. I'm agnostic. There may or may not be a higher power, or Christian God, as pretty much everyone in my meetings believes in but me. I'm not saying they are wrong, by any means.
Otherwise, I can relate to most things.
Is there a way to get past this, or do I need to drive around to find a new meeting group, or is al anon not going to work for me?
I very much am a huge codependent, and I very much need to work through my issues.
So what do I do?
Hi, You are not the first person who has ever been challenged by the "Higher Power" stuff. I was the same way. What worked for me was to just let go of it and focus on Step One. The rest will come and if it never does, that is okay too. The principles of Al-Anon are applicable to anyone regardless of their religious or spiritual beliefs. Athiests and agnostics are also included. A
Higher Power can be anything but you. A lot of members use the group as their Higher Power to get started or permanently. I started out with a view of a certain mountain top peak, where I lived. It was important for me to not use another person, i.e. as my Higher Power because it feeds into the codependency cycle. The idea is to learn to be your own person, whether or not the alcoholic still drinks.
Al-Anon is not religious. Historically, its roots are from A.A. and A.A. was derived from the Oxford Groups. So there is an original base of Christianity but again, Al-Anon is not religious. It is important to understand the difference between religion and spirituality. That was new information for me.
You usually hear the statement, "Take what you liked and leave the rest." That is applicable to what is said or read at a meeting. It is okay for you not to have a Higher Power. I just kept coming back because I knew my group of five understood something about alcoholism. The idea of the First Step and its statement of powerlessness is that I cannot control another person's drinking or anything else about them. And when I do, my life becomes unmanageable.
Keep coming back. Al-Anon will grow on you.