What an interesting thread. Whether someone drinks or not, the fact is there are people out there that have little empathy for others. They can be our neighbours, workmates, partners, parents, siblings and children.
I've spent time in the past researching sociopathy, narcissism and other anti-social personality disorders trying to come to some type of understanding as to why the people I grew up with and have attracted into my life behave the way they do. Even though sociopaths are controlling, they often turn to alcohol and drugs and can become addicted to substances. It's also a misconception that all sociopaths are serial killers. Sociopathy along with every other type of personality disorder is on a continuuom, from those who exhibit the traits mildly to the other end of the scale, which are the malignant sociopaths/psychopaths (the ones that kill and torture). I've read that at least 20% of the population have some type of anti-social personality disorder!
Today, talking to a friend, we spoke about personality types and how they may affect someone with alcoholism. And really, when someone is still drinking, it's like trying to work out what came first, the chicken or the egg? In our discussion, I brought my father up as an example of one type of alcoholic and my XADFH as another. My dad is what you might call, 'a garden variety alcoholic' (sober and in AA now, thankfully). He did act inappropriately when he was drunk and overstepped boundaries that should not have been overstepped and can be critical when not working the program. But he wasn't the yelling, abusing, physically violent type (that was my mother) and on my dad's side of the family, most of the men have been alcoholic but also gentle types. My XADFH on the other hand, can be quite pleasant, cheerful etc when not drinking (still exhibiting lack of empathy and control issues though) but violent when drunk. This, I believe comes down to the personality or the individual as well as how the alcohol affects them. Just my two cents worth....